In the history of mankind, no place other than the local zoo has been able to create such an everlasting kinship between man an animal. For better or for worse, visiting the zoo is an experience that reshapes a person’s perspective of his or her place in the world; it changes lives and enables one to develop an affinity for everything the earth has to offer. However minute the glance may be, there’s no feeling quite like that of the subtle stare of the red panda, right into your eyes. The feeling is almost ineffable, but if I were to begin to describe it, I would say it’s similar to the sensation a person feels when encountered face-to-face with the magnificent gaze of a giant, red, red panda-shaped raccoon. The zoo is also a place to bond with your fellow man, as you go from exhibit to exhibit repeatedly shouting, “Whoa! Look at that thing!”, or perhaps yelling, “What the hell is that smell?” Personally, the zoo is one of my favorite places. You can always leave your troubles at home and go out to do something fun, but at almost no other place than the zoo can you leave your troubles at home go out to yell at some monkeys.

Without a doubt, the pinnacle attraction of the Atlanta zoo is the exhibit of their two giant pandas - Lun Lun and Yang Yang. Not only are these pandas the epitome of cute and cuddly, but they also represent strong economic, social, and environmental ties between the Unites States and China. Two of only five giant pandas on exhibit in the U.S., the pandas were delivered to Zoo Atlanta (via UPS of course) in their partnership with the Chinese Association of Zoological Gardens. Understandably upon meeting these creatures, I was as excited as a five year-old boy and his mule, ready for and adventure. I had never seen the exhibit before, but I was certainly not going to accept anything less than the most exhilarating event of my entire life. I can honestly say that the feeling I received was not at all foreseen: total disappointment. With names like Lun Lun and Yang Yang, am I not to believe that I should prepare myself for 15 minutes of panda hilarity? NO, not at all. As evidenced in the picture, there lays Yang Yang, with a look in his face that says, “I just going to sit here all day, with my head in this room, and my body in the other. Sure… take a picture of me in my infinite misery you callous bastard.” Meanwhile, the activity in which Lun Lun was partaking is just too dismal to describe. Poor pandas…

In an effort to lift my shattered spirits, we wandered over the home of the playful and energetic Chinese Otter. Mission accomplished. How can I stay depressed when in spite of the rain, this otter remains… well, it’s just kind of sitting there, but it’s so damned cute! I mean… look at it! Tell me you wouldn’t want that furry little guy, running around your house, creating fun for the entire family. And as my friend Starsky pointed out, the thing is one hell of a swimmer. Think about the endless possibilities that would come with owning an otter.

Next stop: the birds. Yeah, birds are cool, birds are pretty, birds are nice… but they’re not really that interesting. I used to wish I could fly like a bird, but that was like what… 15 years ago? What have you done for me lately, birds? The only bird that I really like is the penguin, but that’s another story. All-around, I would say that birds are just O.K., but I’ll make an exception for this guy. With breathing problems like a bulldog with bronchitis, and the short legs like those of a beagle, I couldn’t help myself from falling in love with this bird. And look… he’s giving me a nut!

Snakes are interesting animals, but they don’t really make for great conversation. Maybe they do… but I’m not really in the mood to talk about snakes right now. It’s more of a weekend thing. In fact, if you want to hear about snakes so badly, why don’t you go over to the damn forum and talk about them yourselves? Don’t be lazy! Dammit, people. Anyhow, there are two pictures of snakes eating mice. That ought to get you started. Have at it.
There’s also an interesting picture of an iguana for you. Why is it so lazy? I don’t know. Go sign up for our forum right now, cause I know you’re dying to discuss this.

Orangutans: They’re big, red and fuzzy. They’re apes. They like to sleep in hammocks; they like to play with towels. ‘Nuff said.

The last exhibit I’ll discuss with you today is perhaps my favorite. The giant gorilla is portrayed on television as an intelligent, yet humble creature (actually, I don’t know how they’re portrayed, but let’s just assume). But seeing one in reality, you realize that gorillas are nothing of the sort. Intelligent they may be, but humble? Hardly. With his arched back and his smug expression, it’s quite clear what this gorilla is trying to say: “I am such a BAD-ASS!” With a confidence like none other, this gorilla is out to make every season mating season. But enough talk about gorillas. I know what question you want me to ask. It must be eating you up inside. Alright, I’ll indulge you. What’s YOUR foto-fantasy?